The housing section of Craigslist is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. I browse through houses and apartments, daydreaming over where I could end up once my current lease ends. I drool over $2k/month downtown loft spaces that I could afford 7-12 jobs from now. But as of late, my favorite part of Craigslist housing is combing through the dirtiest of its laundry by searching for “FWB”. This produces a generally small but horrifying sample of generous, kind-hearted gentlemen looking to trade rent and/or other living expenses in their homes for- you guessed it!- sex. What follows is what I believe to be THE Quintessential 2015 Looking For Live-In Blowup Doll In Exchange For Almost-Free Rent Craigslist Post.

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Earlier this month, the interwebs exploded over a Christian blogger’s decision to no longer wear leggings or yoga pants in public because her husband whined at her about “inspiring lust in other men” whilst wearing said yoga pants at the farmer’s market (this is probably the whitest sentence I’ve ever written). As a person with almost zero religious background who tries her best not to be an asshole about other people’s religious preferences, here are my thoughts:

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Greek Yogurt

According to, “62% of American office workers usually eat their lunch in the same spot they work all day”. Desperate to avoid contributing to this depressing statistic, I often eat lunch in my car. Sitting in my car alone and basking in this important victory, I choked down a sadder lunch than has ever been consumed at any desk: one Mango Pomegranate Greek yogurt.

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