Carly’s Into Bach, Week 6: Naked Bungee Jumping and Double Standards

Welcome back to Week 6 of Carly’s Into Bach, which is really Week 7 because Week 5 had two separate parts, so we’re only on the 6th rose ceremony, and this whole thing is really becoming far too complicated for a weekly blog feature!!

Hannah and the men are in Riga, Latvia, which Hannah—god bless her— must be contractually obligated to mention every 30 seconds. “Here we are in LAWT-VEE-UH!” Read More

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Carly’s Into Bach, Week 5 Pt. 2: God Has Abandoned Us

Hello friends, and welcome to the recap of the worst Bachelorette episode ever— which, ironically, was 50% a recap itself!

I am Big Mad, and if you watched the episode, you already know why. If you didn’t: the episode was maybe one hour of Hannah/dudes/dating content… and an hour of Chris Harrison and Hannah PLAYING CLIPS OF ALREADY-SEEN FOOTAGE AND DISCUSSING THEM! Read More

Carly’s Into Bach, Week 5: The Luke Ness Monster

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Welcome back to Carly’s Into Bach, where our true joy is watching grown men squabble like toddlers in a sandbox! As you’ll recall, last week’s episode ended with no rose ceremony, so we’re picking up right where we left off: at the extremely uncomfortable cocktail party.

Hannah pulls the Lukes aside and tells them to talk to each other. She sits between them for ~3 minutes, watching them bicker and making this face:

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…Then gets up and walks away, as she should, because this is soooooooo tired. Read More

Mama’s New Vacuum

Friends: are you in the market for a new vacuum? Did you get your current vacuum from your mom, used, in the Year of Our Lord 2011, because she was replacing it with “a good one”? Do you have a dog, a foster dog, and possibly a cat shedding all over literally everything you own, at every waking moment? Let me tell you about the Hoover Wind Tunnel 2 Whole House Rewind Upright Vacuum.

*slaps roof of Hoover Wind Tunnel 2 Whole House Rewind Upright Vacuum* This baby can hold a truly shocking amount of fur, dust, and leaves that Crouton shredded and left on the floor just to spite me.

WARNING: you may feel physically ill as you’re emptying the canister of the Hoover Wind Tunnel 2 Whole House Rewind Upright Vacuum for the third time in one cleaning sesh, despite the fact that you vacuumed with Ol’ Bissell just one week ago!

This vacuum has everything: attachments; a brush roll that turns on for carpet and off for hard surfaces; a retractable cord; a pleasing blue-colored handle; a speaker that plays lullabies to soothe your pets while you torture them with the Big Loud Scare Machine; MTV’s Dan Cortez…

Many friends recommended that I purchase a Shark or a Dyson, and while I’m sure those are also great, they are NOT currently on sale for $100 at Target. As many of you know, I work at a university #BallinOnABudget.

So if you’re like me, and are looking for a new vacuum that IS currently on sale for $100 at Target, I highly recommend that you check out the Hoover Wind Tunnel 2 Whole House Rewind Upright Vacuum. #SponsoredPost #JK #ImJustExcited #HooverGetAtMeTho #IHaveVenmo

 

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Me and my new best friend! Photobomb by Lucy, our foster dog/temporary fur machine.

 

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