Ever since the introduction of Facebook’s Like button, users have whined about the lack of a Dislike button. It’s a fair point, and one that’s often clarified in the comment section: “I don’t ‘like’ that someone sideswiped your car while it was parked in the garage and didn’t leave a note! I’m just showing my support!!!”
After something like 8 years, Facebook finally decided it was tired of watching your Great Aunt Martha try to explain why her clicking the Like button does not mean that she likes it when bad things happen to you.
But rather than just adding the oft-requested Dislike button to the mix, they added a whole host of new “Reactions”. Now, when someone posts a picture of their brunch with the caption “#sundayfunday #mimosas #yaassskween #blessed <3“, we have the following choices:
I felt weird about these new additions at first. It makes me nervous when the number of Likes on my posts is smaller than normal because everyone is clicking Love or Haha instead (I am universally adored). But then I realized that most of us are missing out on the best possible uses of these new emojis: pettiness, childish behavior, and general headfuckery.
If you are “nice” or “mature” or “an adult”, this strategy may not be for you. For the rest of us, I’ve compiled a helpful guide to using the new Reactions in a petty-as-fuck manner, guaranteed to warm your cold heart with the anger and bewilderment of the innocent. Read More