Happy Thursday! If you’re just waking up, you should know that in the middle of the night, our elected douchebags made the truly appalling choice to repeal the ACA and CHIP, leaving 30 million Americans (including children, which– hey, pro-lifers!– are just fetuses that got borned!) without health insurance.

On a shit day like this one, you might find yourself getting So Mad Online that you decide to interact with strangers on social media, like Twitter or the trending topics section of Facebook.

This is a Very Bad Idea! Do not do this!

Okay, so you did it, and it’s not fun, and actually it’s even more terrible than you imagined. But you’re in it to win it now, and your notifications are a goddamn disaster. Why not play a game of Bingo with those replies while you wait it out?

If you don’t win within five minutes, that’s your cue to go take a walk! Get some fresh air; remind yourself that you are loved and we will all find a way to survive this together.

HA! Just kidding. Reply to a Tormy Looren tweet, and feel your soul sink even deeper into its pit of depair.

Xoxo,

Gossip Carl